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Offensive Intentions?

17 Apr

So, here lately I have apparently been pushing buttons on my personal Facebook page (which is much more highly trafficked than my “fan page“).

I’m the type of person that thinks a lot. But, I like to put my questions out there, publicly. I like ideas. I like understanding. I want to understand. And if you never ask questions, will you ever fully grasp the concept of things in front of you? Or the reality of the person you are standing next to?

It’s also not just about asking the questions, but being receptive to the responses. And allowing someone their chance to speak their mind without being belittled. If you really want to understand, you won’t attempt to change their mind. You continue asking questions to better understand their position. And likewise, you politely share how you may feel differently. And of course if you agree 😉

Most of the time, discussions go VERY well on my links and status updates. And it’s such a pleasure to be able to talk to people and better understand why they feel the way they do on certain subjects and to gain insight to the positions of both parties. Even abortion debates have gone smoothly! Try that on for size on your own page and see what happens! 😉

The other night, however, I made the mistake of sharing a friend’s question. It was basically asking why more of the human population DOESN’T consider our own surplus population issues when considering having children, yet we’re pretty clear on controlling the surplus pet population issues.

Between friends with very specific opinions and less of an “in-depth reason” behind the original inquiry, the whole thread fell to the wayside. Parents took offense to being questioned about why they had kids at all, and those with concerns for our population who HAVE made the decision NOT to have kids apparently came off as “dry” and uncaring about other opinions.

I was actually accused of focusing on the negative at one point, privately. And that there was hope for me that one day I would find the “good” in life. Talk about confusing poor ol’ me who tries like hell to keep positive as much as possible! Yikes!

So, Sunday’s events have lead me to make this post here to help better explain my inquiring mind, I suppose.

Do I ask questions, share things, or post things to intentionally get a rise out of people? No. I post things for a few reasons, some of which are: better understanding who I am, clarifying my beliefs, simple humor, and to make people THINK. I want people to ask questions. I want people to tell me their beliefs and what they mean to them. I want people to show me they have an opinion on something, even if it differs from mine! Prove to me that you’re human and that you can think. Prove to me that something matters to you enough for you to say something about it. Prove to me that you know enough about whatever it is to have the opinion you hold so strongly. And be brave enough to ask ME questions if you don’t understand *my* position on something.

I’m not a close-minded person. I love learning knew things, and that includes how and what people think on a variety of things. Now, not all counter arguments may sway my personal positions on things, it’s still good to know. And for those things I didn’t know, thank you for telling me!

As we all know, it’s impossible to please everyone all of the time. I really try my best to respect other’s beliefs and opinions. But, there are many times that I KNOW I have inadvertently offended someone because of the general nature of the things I choose to share with others, be it my own words in conversations, inappropriate things I’ve found on the internet, links to hot topic items, etc. I can’t make all of you happy! And ya know what? I’m not even going to try!

I do need folks to realize a few things about me though so that it may, perhaps, shield some of the “hurt feelings” that are likely to come up.

  • I think and talk a lot and I generally love milling about the “tough” topics.
  • I have a sarcastic sense of humor which leads me to also find humor in things that are potentially offensive to others. Because of this sense of humor, I have many others with a similar style and just sometimes simply can’t resist sharing things for their benefit.
  • I can be very direct and “to the point.” I’ve been told this makes me look like a hard ass. And I’m okay with that. Just realize that it’s not really me being a hard ass as much as it is an attempt to get clear and concise answers the first time around.
  • On the surface, it may appear that my opinionated nature is set in stone. Nope, not at all. Present an alternative view that I may not be aware of and I’m completely willing to revise my original standpoint.

With all this being said, I hope any new visitors that come along realize that while it may appear that I try intentionally to “start sh*t,” that’s not the case. My intentions are in initiating discussions and helping others to learn about differing viewpoints. And maybe to help those people firm up their own opinions on a variety of subjects. It’s ALWAYS good to know where you stand on something. I don’t censor people. I don’t belittle people. I try my best to encourage thoughtful discussions. Why? Because I want to hear what YOU have to say. So, get on it. Voice your opinion. Because whether you believe it or not, some people DO care.

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4 Comments

Posted by on April 17, 2012 in Childfree, Godless, Hot Button, Uncategorized

 

Tags: , , , , , , ,

4 responses to “Offensive Intentions?

  1. twiseowl

    April 17, 2012 at 9:32 pm

    I like reading your posts and discussing things with you, even if I disagree, because you can have an intelligent debate or discussion without resorting to put downs or name calling. I’m NOT easily offended, lol. But in this case, through no fault of your own, I was. One person in particular was extremely offensive and did call names and put the whole of us parents down. At that point, it’s no longer a discussion or a debate.

    Not to mention…. Take any instincts you have to protect your dogs or your family and magnify them by 100, and that’s a tiny bit of what you get when you go after a person’s children. Something about carrying something inside of you for over 9 months and then caring for it 24/7 brings out feelings and emotions and instincts you never even knew you were capable of. I’m sure just a little bit of that got caught up in that conversation as well, lol. 😉

    Tara

     
    • Alicia

      April 17, 2012 at 9:38 pm

      Likewise, it was completely understandable! I’m not a parent basher, unless of course they have ZERO control over their children and they act like mindless heathens, but that’s a parenting problem, not a “parent” problem, if the difference can be detected.

      We’ll have debates again, but uhh…I think I’ll avoid the things that could be twisted so deeply as this one was. Definitely not what I had intended!

       
  2. George W.

    May 5, 2012 at 11:36 am

    This is a tough debate to have. If you read my “about” page when you were lurking on my blog, you know that I have FIVE (yep, that’s not a typo) kids. Is that irresponsible? Is it selfish? I don’t really know that those questions have easy answers- but I know I can find someone who thinks they do.
    I could go on for 1000 words as to why it is equally selfish to not have children- how many people in my generation are so self-centered that they can’t be bothered making the sacrifices that come with parenting.

    People, ultimately, decide for entirely selfish reasons to have children or not have children. And this is totally fine. We should get over all that. Once we have made an entirely personal decision, we go through the motions of looking for validation for making that choice. Not many (and by that I mean statistically zero) people choose to go childless out of a selfless concern for the planet. That is the most ridiculous argument I have ever heard. Am I trying to start an argument? Yep. You know why I’ll win? Because anybody with the moral highground to score points against my assertion isn’t going to read this- ever.
    They live off the grid and would never think of using technology because they have a selfless concern for the planet.

     
    • Alicia

      May 5, 2012 at 1:22 pm

      I actually didn’t lurk on your blog George. WP has this neat function that I found yesterday that checks my social networks for other WP bloggers, and you happened to show up from Twitter. So, apologies for not stalking properly.

      Since you aren’t aware of the the capacity of the entire “argument” that took place that prompted this particular post, I’m not going to get back into that. This post was meant to point out nothing more than the fact that I do tend to like debate and asking questions and encouraging others to think and respond – without intentionally offending. Sure, it’s going to happen. You can’t please everyone all the time. 🙂

       

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