Monthly Archives: September 2012

Defining Love

This was originally written on February 27, 2012. Worthwhile I think ūüôā


A friend asked me the following questions in one of our conversations and it actually surprised us both that I didn’t really have an answer. I have a need to know as much as I can about things but this is one I’ve left strictly as an emotion. Is it fair to try to define “love” with these¬†parameters? Worth a look I suppose.

What does it mean to you?¬†Well…first and foremost it’s an emotion and a precious one at that. With regard to personal relationships, it’s exclusive. It’s a strong emotion and one that deserves the utmost respect and consideration. It isn’t something that applies one day and is negated the next.

Does it have rules?¬†What rules should it have other than to be completely honest? Love shouldn’t hurt the soul. Love enriches life. Love enriches the bond between two people. Anything that threatens that bond or that does not nourish the feeling…how can that be love?

Exclusions? Boundaries? Real love, positive love Рno exclusions, no boundaries. Love is complete in its truest existence. Love needs the flexibility to traverse different areas of life. Love is supportive.

When is it most important?¬†When isn’t love important? Much of our basis for existing is love and acceptance. So, it is important in every single day of our lives, both in sadness and in triumph.

When is it the strongest? When you show it and feel it. Acts of love and intimacy. Closeness.

Weakest? When it is rewarded with lies, distrust, lack of respect, harsh words, and hateful actions.

How do you feel when it hits you?¬†I feel scared and elated, both at the same time. It’s almost a status change and that…well it does something to you!

How do you love someone?¬†…I don’t know how to answer this…

Ultimately, I feel like each and every one of my answers …are so….lacking.

My logical side has met its emotional match – Love. You win. I can’t define you. I can’t put you into a little box and make you make sense. I just know that I am able to feel you. And when I do, you make me feel awesome. And when I feel you, I want to make the person you connect me with feel just as awesome. You make me feel capable of anything with that person. You make me search for ways to make them smile, to enrich their life, to support them and help them grow because I care about them and their well-being more than myself. You don’t deserve to be plopped into a box for scrutiny and comparison. You are a fluid, free-flowing emotion intent on happiness, enrichment, nourishment, and encouragement. And who am I to get in your way?

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Posted by on September 6, 2012 in Uncategorized


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Astrology and Me

One thing I still struggle with as an atheist is astrology. Astrology is still one of those “unproven” things and most atheists throw it in the same bin as psychics and divination and other similar “new age” practices. I don’t believe in psychics. I don’t believe in divination methods like tarot card reading, palm reading, reading tea leaves, or any other hosts of “telling the future.”

I don’t think astrology can “tell the future” either. And furthermore, I don’t believe in horoscopes. But, I still can’t help but recognize specific traits of people born under the different zodiac signs. Admittedly, I did grow up in a household that allowed the research and mysticism of many new age things, astrology being a large one. I remember reading many different books about the zodiac signs and what signs were more compatible with others. I read the horoscopes too for the hell of it and tried to pretend sometimes that they had bearing on my life. I’ve since easily walked away from that since it’s so easy to take someone else’s words and give your own interpretation to them and how they may apply to your situation. I easily recognized the bullshit there.

But…the compatibility of zodiac signs…that’s harder for me to shake. Especially now considering my new relationship status with an unbelievable man. He and I are both Pisces. We’re incredibly similar in personalities and views on life, even though we’re four years apart. I have never felt so comfortable and connected to someone in my whole life! Of my more serious relationships, I’ve been with an Aries on a Pisces cusp, a Gemini, a Libra, and an Aquarius. None of these signs had “true compatibility” with Pisces and likewise, none of them lasted. And the only one to come remotely close to meeting my relationship needs was the one on a Pisces cusp. I’m sure all that is neither here nor there to someone who doesn’t subscribe to the “ideology” or who doesn’t understand the basic compatibility of the star signs. And that’s okay. You can remain lost because you’re likely rolling your eyes at this post anyway ūüėČ

I still have questions though. Could astrological signs be attributed to personality types instead? Does the time of year one is born help produce a typical set of traits for that person? Maybe there are biological and evolutionary explanations for these things? Or are my experiences just coincidental flukes? Am I still latching on to deeper “meanings” that aren’t there?

It’s something still worth pondering in my opinion. The connection he and I share is deep and unbelievably thorough. And when I reflect back on the previous relationships that have failed and how I thought I cared for them, and the things I overlooked or put up with…it’s a night and day difference from where I’m at now with Scott. The communication, the intensity, the honesty, the ability to trust, the compassion, the true desire to BE there for one another, the want to make things work, to make things better for each other, the support, the commitment…what we have is the kind of love that much of the world longs for; and I couldn’t be more thrilled that it’s happened to me.

So, what about you? What are your thoughts and opinions on astrology?


Posted by on September 5, 2012 in Uncategorized


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Busy Bee!

When I started this blog, I was unemployed. I have always liked writing and sharing my opinions on different topics. And a small part of me hoped that maybe I’d find a niche where I could produce a side income. It’s totally possible with blogging and hell, maybe it’s still a possibility for the future. The same holds true now as it did back in February when I bought my name URL and set up the blog – if I ever hope to make money blogging, I need a readership base of people interested in what I have to say. You just can’t make money if you don’t have the traffic.

Herein lies my “trouble.” I’m employed now in the IT field. I’m also nourishing a fabulous new relationship. And as part of that new relationship, I’m also now partial caretaker of two additional dogs, bringing our total canine head count to FIVE. So considering I’m gone around 12 hours a day now, I come home and find myself caring for the herd, spending time with the man, and just plain vegging out! Granted, I do have help with the dogs and house things, sometimes it’s just hard to gather enough sense for a substantial blog post. So, because of that, you’ve been offered this not so meaningful mashing of words.

I do have a few tidbits to touch on though. In one of my previous posts, I reflected on the fear I held about putting my thoughts on this blog publicly, especially since being an atheist in the Bible Belt isn’t readily acceptable. At my last interview before getting this job, they actually brought up having found my blog and how they nourish diversity and that it actually helped to show them that I was a “real” person. Personality was an important part of becoming a team member and for them, to find this space, the blog meant to demonstrate me and the things important to me…it helped them to see more of the person behind the resume, at least enough to afford me an interview; a chance. No judgment, just a chance. Simple proof that even in SC, people can be open-minded and accepting of others’ beliefs on a level that they’re willing to share space and work side-by-side peacefully. And that simple acceptance helped to further excite me about the possibilities that await me with this company.

The work isn’t hard, but it can be mentally exhausting. As the service dispatcher, I field the phone calls, assign tickets to the techs, try to do very basic troubleshooting to help ease the workload and the other numerous tasks of sorting and organizing information, prepping computers, etc.¬†By the time I get home, my brain is fried and I feel more inclined to just be utterly lazy so it can rest and go at it again the next day. That leaves most of my free time on the weekends which I spend doing things I’ve neglected over the week, spending more QT with the man and dogs, and taking care of other life responsibilities.

That in a nutshell is why I’ve been so absent from blogging. I have so many different things I want to say but more often than not, I can’t seem to find the extra time to focus. I’m working to change that though because in a way, it benefits me. And isn’t that what blogging is about?


Posted by on September 4, 2012 in Godless, Uncategorized


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